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Marriage is a lifetime commitment that takes work, especially when times are challenging. Seeking help along the way by asking the most consequential marriage counseling questions will strengthen your relationship with one another and empower you as individuals.

During a marriage there will be challenges along the way, but these potential roadblocks can be conquered and, in the process, can renew and strengthen your marital bond. Still, the key is knowing how to address these issues to have a successful marriage.

What Makes Marriages Succeed

“What makes a marriage succeed?” is one of the most frequently asked marriage counseling questions. Achieving marital success involves several elements, all of which help couples triumph over the obstacles that cross their path.

  • Friendship — A genuinely successful marriage must be based on a solid friendship, in which each partner feels as though they are married to their best friend.
  • Being in sync — Having a solid connection over your beliefs and values helps build a successful marriage.
  • Respect — One marriage counseling question to strengthen your relationship is, how can I get my partner to respect me? Love isn’t enough without mutual respect, and when you appreciate your partner, you can truly listen and communicate when conflicts or disagreements occur.
  • Affection — Expressing intimacy with one another reinforces the love and commitment a couple has for one another.
  • Shared Spirituality — The happiest couples have a spiritual closeness that centers around shared beliefs.

A successful marriage is attainable, but it takes work. Staying on a successful marital path can be challenging at times. We all make mistakes, but it’s how we deal with those mistakes that matters.

Another common question in marriage counseling is why marriages fail. Certain things can undermine a marriage if not addressed effectively.

What Makes Marriages Fail

There are currently 750,000 divorces in the United States each year. Marriages can suffer for many reasons. Some of the most common reasons causing spouses to feel as if they are drifting away from one another include:

  • Incompatibility and growing apart
  • Communication problems
  • Infidelity
  • Substance or domestic abuse
  • Conflicts over family responsibilities

Any one of these issues is a sign that you may need marriage counseling, but don’t worry — any issue can be addressed when the right marriage counseling questions are asked. Finding solutions to your challenges can help you find the way to a stronger, more fulfilling marital relationship.

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Marriage Counseling Questions

Before embarking on your first marriage counseling session, you and your spouse should write out a list of questions you seek answers to. Identifying your chief concerns can help you achieve a successful outcome. Breaking down this list in order of priority is essential.

  1. What are the main problems in your marriage, and when did they first start?
    • Are the problems emotional, physical, financial, or something else?
    • Was there infidelity? If so, how did it make both partners feel?
  2. An essential marriage counseling question to strengthen your relationship is: why did you initially fall in love with your partner?
    • What qualities did your partner possess that attracted you to them?
    • Describe how you first met and how you felt at that time.
  3. Do you trust your partner?
    • Did anything happen in the past to create trust issues?
    • Give an example of when you did trust your partner and a time when you did not.
  4. What past conflicts need to be resolved?
    • If this list is long, take the time to organize it from most to least severe.
    • Think about potential resolutions to the conflicts both your and your spouse identify.
  5. How would you describe your life together?
    • Be as honest and descriptive as possible.
    • Try to focus not only on the negative but also their positive qualities.
  6. An essential marriage counseling question is, what are the things you love most about your partner?
    • Focus on the little things as well as the bigger ones
    • Give detailed descriptions of all the positive things about your partner.
  7. What are the things you dislike about your partner?
    • Again, include the little things that upset you that you would like to address
    • Give as much detail as possible to describe what your partner does that you do not like. This revelation can often reveal something you may not like about yourself and see in your spouse, uncovering a deeper issue.
  8. An essential question during marriage counseling is asking if your spouse accepts you or is trying to change you.
    • Make sure to give examples that will help your spouse see things through your eyes.
    • Convey how this makes you feel about your spouse and yourself.
  9. Describe your arguments.
    • Are the disagreements over different things, or are they the same thing all the time?
    • Do the arguments come out of nowhere?
  10. Describe your communication
    • Do you often place blame on one another?
    • Do you start sentences with “you” or “I”? Framing sentences in terms of your needs rather than focusing on your spouse’s perceived flaws can be a more effective means of communication and help you develop solutions for your differences.

Asking the right marriage counseling questions can help you see the good in your partner, which can be difficult when resentments build up. It is easy to forget the beautiful qualities you first saw in your spouse, especially when consumed by all the negatives.

Marriage counseling questions to strengthen your relationship will also improve how you feel about yourself. When you get to the core of the problems and resolve them, it enlightens and solidifies the bond between you and your spouse.

Essential Tips When Asking Marriage Counseling Questions

How we communicate is vital during a marriage counseling session, and understanding that we have different styles of relaying information can be extraordinarily beneficial. So, there are a few marriage counseling questions you must ask yourself about your patterns of communication.

  1. Am I being defensive or critical?
  2. Am I creating a safe space so my partner can feel secure and confident in sharing their thoughts and feelings?
  3. Am I keeping score?

Try to be aware and catch yourself before engaging in behavior that could sabotage your relationship and create more distance between you and your spouse.

Try to focus more on learning about your partner and less on the desire to be right. In the end, marriage counseling questions should be asked with the primary goal of unifying and solidifying your marital bond.

Benefits of Marriage Counseling

There are tremendous benefits of marriage counseling that help strengthen your bond and repair any damage that may have been done along the way. Having a trained therapist to mediate can provide a vital opportunity to assess a couple’s interactions and identify the roots of their conflict, which can then be addressed and resolved.

Getting to a place of tranquility in your marriage can be achieved through marriage counseling questions, and the answers help to provide enormous benefits. A few of the main benefits include:

  1. Creating a more profound friendship, because this is the heart of a relationship.
  2. Building a good relationship is achieved through a high level of trust and commitment.
  3. The ability to repair following conflict and disagreements is vital to a healthy marriage.
  4. Finding marital purpose, because every partnership has a goal, and a strong marriage consists of two people who support the other’s hopes and dreams.

A few of the more in-depth benefits include:

  • Being able to see the good in your partner without judgment or expectations.
  • Developing a new sense of unconditional love for your partner, a love that comes from a deeper part of the heart and soul.
  • Getting to know and understand your partner at a deeper level than ever before.
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We offer marriage counseling in Austin that answers counseling questions to strengthen your relationship. Regardless of how difficult your journey may be, there is hope to find and strengthen connection to form a more solid and unbreakable bond.

Christian marriage counseling works by uniting the principles of God’s Word with the insights found in psychology to help couples improve their relationships. Applying the words of Scripture, we can learn to truly let go and forgive after conflict. Christian counseling also helps you learn the skills you need to make practical changes to live a more contented and blissful life with your spouse.

Take that first step to get the answers to your marriage counseling questions so you and your spouse can learn how to overcome any obstacle that may cross your path. Contact us to get the guidance and help needed to rectify and fortify your blessed marital union today!

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